My Testimony
by brother Elliott Nesch
Spiritual Writings | Life in ChristMy life radically changed when I met God. The Bible says, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." I never thought I would become a Christian. I hated religion and I still do (I will explain later). I am a Christian today because it is the one and only truth. Today, there is much hypocrisy associated with the label "Christian." When I say, "I am a Christian," that means absolutely nothing today; the term has become absolutely meaningless. Consider me a follower of the Way. I love Jesus Christ.
You must have a personal relationship with Jesus because He is God. It is undeniable. It doesn't matter how you live your life right now, you need to invite Jesus into it simply because He is the truth. If you don't you will regret it. Trust me. Jesus loves you more than words can ever explain. There is not a word in the English dictionary to describe the love Jesus has for you. If you reject His love and His free gift of salvation, you will be making the greatest mistake of your life. He is love and He will change your life.
I am Elliott and today I will tell you about the miracle that saved my life, and changed my life forever. Beforehand, I will warn you that the things of God cannot be put into words like what happened to me. Sharing with others or writing about supernatural experiences I've had with God only frustrates me because it cannot be done. How can I use carnal words from a world that does not know God to describe God. I cannot. Neither can I keep quiet or keep this enlightenment to reality and truth within. Something must be said. So I will try and I will fail to tell you about God but I pray that through this attempt you will seek God for yourself.
Before I tell you about this event that changed my life, I will briefly share with you a little about my previous life before the incident. This is very personal to me but there is a powerful message behind it. I do not intend to share this to glory in my past life and decisions but, instead, to bring glory to God for what He has done in my life and to offer strength and hope to those who might be listening that are now in the sad state I was. My life and testimony is proof that God exists and that Jesus is alive.
Before I met God, my life was drugs. My parents never said anything, probably because I was gone as much as possible and very deceptive. I began drinking heavily in high school. I soon became an abusive alcoholic drinking hard liquor on a daily basis before I was sixteen years old. This habit soon led to a marijuana addiction, which led me to dealing and doing every drug I could get my hands onto. There's not one drug I passed up. My drug of choice for most of my high school career was meth. I was a full-time drug dealer to support my meth habit. I began using needles at seventeen years old.
I was on a path of utter destruction. I was involved in over twenty car accidents; I lost count after that. I took a life in one of the accidents. I hit a couple that was crossing the street and I killed the woman. This incident made life even harder for me which increased my drug abuse among other things.
Drugs offered me a way out that school counselors and women couldn't. I had been hurt by those closest to me, but drugs were always good to me. It wasn't too long before I trusted no one and began hurting others as well, speaking evil of everyone in my life. All my relationships began to revolve around drugs which made me a popular person in high school.
I disobeyed my parents. I was a thief. I was a liar and I lived in fornication with several women.
I was a very angry person but rarely showed it except when I'd have fits of rage. I'd even fight my friends. I'd punch walls always leaving my fists bruised and scabbed, a form of self-mutilation. I couldn't control my anger. I hurt myself all the time, but when I hurt others it scared me like when I strangled one of my girlfriends and threw her down on the stairs. I thought about suicide several times, especially when coming down from days of drug binges but the fear of death refrained me.
I felt I was invincible at that time of my life; everyone around me thought I had lost my mind. I took everything to the limit especially drugs. I'd stay up for weeks at a time without sleep mixing hard drugs, alcohol and prescription pharmaceuticals. I didn't care. The only thing I was afraid of was death, yet I invited it every day.
Most of the time I'd be on several drugs at once plus alcohol and prescription drugs. I remember once going to the doctor after taking at least 30 pills of ecstasy over a period of three days of no sleep and having, what I thought to be, a heart attack while driving home on the highway. The doctor gave me three EKG tests because the results were so high. The doctor told me, "Don't do ecstasy," and sent me on my way. Good advice but I didn't listen.
But now I know there is a reason I'm alive. This path of destruction was leading me to death. In fact, I did die and I have been given a second chance.
It all started when I was given the book The Purpose Driven Life. I don't recommend this book but it contained God's word and brought me to Him. My girlfriend's mother gave this Bible-based book to me. I had been to church only a few times with friends when I was younger. The only time I had picked up a Bible was when I was staying in hotels. My parents were not Christians. Everything I was reading in the book was very new to me. I still have the book to this day; it is half-read with a page creased in the middle, highlighted on one of the pages is 'God is love.'
I began telling people about what I was reading but they only ridiculed me.
At the time, I was selling drugs for the Triads, or Asian Mafia from California, among others and I was in debt over my head. I was facing jail, serious injury or the loss of my life. But that's nothing new when living this lifestyle. One night at a friend's house, I was reflecting on what I had been reading. I was reflecting on the life I was living and the darkness that surrounded it. For the first time, I was feeling deep sorrow for my sins. I was asking why? What's the meaning? I was seriously questioning God's existence for the first time.
Suddenly, as I was reflecting, the room disappeared.
There was a magnificent light above me. This light was more beautiful than anything I have ever seen. It was not from this world; it was holy. No words can describe it. It was a miracle that I cannot put into words. I was in God's presence, that's all I can say. He was pouring out His spirit upon me and showing me everything that He is: Love, Light, and Spirit.
I was traveling up a tunnel to the light. The tunnel was filled with the glory of the light, a power and energy out of this world. It filled my soul with warmth and life. It was bringing me closer and closer to it and God was speaking to me. It was not an audible voice but ideas and thoughts were put into my mind not of my own. The word, "yes," continued as I was approaching the light More specifically, the words, "yes to existence." I remember writing this phrase down the next day along with the word "love." Wherever I was, time didn't exist, for all I know this vision could've lasted five minutes or three hours.
I was told that God is love. I saw this love and was in the presence of perfect love. I was shown people like Darwin and Einstein and they were as nothing, just mere men. I was told that life is not here by chance but a miracle of God. I was told that you may have all knowledge in the world but without love, you're nothing. God revealed Himself to me as all loving and holy. He revealed Himself to me as love. I was in His Spirit. He showed me His perfect love. And I saw His light. John 4: 24 says, "God is light," 1 John 4: 8 says, "God is love," and 1 John 1: 5 says, "God is light."
I thought for sure I was dead but I was at peace. Everything was okay and I had all wisdom which is in God and His love. I knew I was dead because I had received this knowledge, which is the meaning of life. What I saw was too beautiful for my eyes. After this taste of heaven I felt condemned to hell. I wanted my life back because then I knew the gift I had been given and I wasted it. I wanted it back but then again, I didn't know how I could possibly live in this world after seeing what I saw. This miracle was so beautiful beyond words, I asked God to take it back because I was unworthy to have seen it.
I began to realize what I had seen. At that point, I had faith, I knew that God is love, the Author and Creator of all and that all things are possible with God. At that point I knew God existed and I asked Him to take it back. At that point I knew my life was not mine but God's . . . And that was horrifying. Horrifying because my conscious told me I was condemned and unworthy in His presence and He had the power over my soul even after death. Horrifying because I had lost my life, which I now wanted more than ever, and I had no idea what was coming next. . .
I wanted my life back. I wanted a second chance. I promised God right then and there I would turn my life around. I promised I would stop doing evil God has given me a second chance and a purpose.
Whether I left my body or the vision came to me I do not know. I had no reason to look back.
After the vision and I was back in the room of my friend's house, it was like I was in shock. People came and left the house but I stayed sitting overcome by what I had experienced. I stayed there for hours just sitting. I was speechless. I remember turning to my friend and holding his hand. I told him that I loved him. I can't imagine what he thought because this was probably the most uncharacteristic and unexpected thing that could come out of my mouth.
The next day, I was a new creature. I saw the world in a way I had never seen it before with thanksgiving and an incredible appreciation to be a part of God's creation. I remember walking home from my friend's house the next morning with a spirit of joy that I had never felt previously. Each breath felt like a gift. I was in total awe and appreciation of the trees, the mountains, the smells, everything. I was content for the first time in my life because I knew there was more to life . . . God.
Before the incident, I was scared to death of death. The fear of death haunted me ever since I was a child often bringing me to tears at night and torturing my spirit. Afterwards, that emptiness in my soul was filled with the knowledge of God.
Afterwards, sobriety became my daily life instead of drug addiction. It wasn't instantly; I fell several times but I always fell forward. With the power of the Holy Spirit, I conquered my meth addiction along with all the other addictions including drugs, fornication, masturbation, and lust for women.
I shared my experience with people and continue to do so today. The most popular response I get from non-Christians is, "It was the drugs." It was not the drugs that brought about this experience. Yes, I was on drugs at the time but I was coming down from my high. The drugs were wearing off and I was ready for more but didn't have any. Hence, my depression and reflection of my sins. Like I said, I was always on something. After being on drugs literally every single day for several years of my life, I know a drug experience from what this was, and this was holy.
The real proof that this vision was from God is my life itself. Drugs were my favorite thing in the world. I was totally convinced I would be on meth the rest of my life and that I would die on meth. And that didn't bother me. I was perfectly fine with that because I knew there was no other way. I knew it would be impossible for me to quit anyway. I loved getting high on anything and everything too much to let it go for my family, friends or myself. Drugs were my life and that was reality.
Today, I despise drugs. The only thing that could have brought about this impossible change in me is God. I truly am a different person. If God didn't speak to me, I'd still be getting high right now or dead as I should've been long ago. Nobody and nothing was going to stop me from living the lifestyle I was living until I found out that there is a God. I never even attended any rehabilitation program to quit abusing drugs. I stopped using drugs on my own with the power of the Holy Spirit. Rehab or jail never would have helped me or changed my addiction for drugs anyway. I lived for drugs and fornication. Only Jesus Christ had the power to change me. Now I live for Jesus.
I continued in reading the Holy Bible and found the very same principles and ideas God spoke to me that night within the Scriptures reaffirming to me that the one and only true God is the God of the Holy Bible. I studied other religions to be sure, to confirm the God I met is the God of the Bible. I know God and who He is, I met Him, and the Bible speaks of the same God in the scriptures. No other book is as unique and powerful as the Holy Bible. I know God exists and the Bible is the accurate representation of this God, the one and only true God. The Bible testifies that God is light, God is love, and God is spirit. Nothing compares to God and His word!
Before I conclude, I will share with you some of the verses to further explain what happened to me.
"And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him."
-- John 4: 16
When I saw the light, I was with God. God is the light of this world.
"This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all."
-- 1 John 1: 5
I was being brought closer and closer to the light but I never reached it. The Bible says this about the King of kings and Lord of lords, Jesus Christ:
". . . who alone has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see, to whom be honor and everlasting power. Amen."
-- 1 Timothy 6: 16
I know I was being supernaturally changed in order to gaze into God's unapproachable light, if not, I probably would've exploded from the power therein. I know so, because this light shines with a brilliance brighter than the sun yet I still have my eyesight. The sun is but a shadow of this light, it is not comparable, and those that have stared into the sun which lights our earth have been blinded by its power. Again, nothing can compare.
Saul who later became Paul had a vision that I imagine to be similar to what happened to me, especially because God used it to transform this wicked murderer into a man of God.
"Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, "Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?" And he said, "Who are You, Lord?" Then the Lord said, "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads." So he, trembling and astonished, said, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" Then the Lord said to him, "Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.""
-- Acts 9: 1 - 6
Sometimes I say I don't have to have faith because it's so undeniable. I just know. Not just because of what happened to me but because of the Spirit, because of answered prayers and because of the Holy Bible. If you read the Bible, you will see. The Spirit will bear witness of the truth and with your spirit (1 John 5: 6). As the Scripture says in Romans 8: 16, "The Spirit bears witness with our spirit, that we are children of God." If you truly want to know God, the truth, seek Him and I guarantee you will find Him!
"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you."
-- Matthew 7: 7
If you come before God and ask Him into your life, He will come. If you knock, He will answer. You cannot tempt God or ask this in vain but you must come to Him in prayer or come to His Word, the Holy Bible, with a pure heart, truly seeking the Truth. Then, you will know this undeniable truth beyond the shadow of a doubt.
When God speaks, you know it's Him. Others besides me have had similar experiences such as these. They, too, will say it is undeniable. Before I was baptized I met a man in the bathroom as I was changing. We both began talking about our testimonies. He was much older than I. He was an alcoholic for all his life and a "tough guy" as he put it getting in many fights. He told me one night he was driving drunk and rolled his car several times. He saw the light and was healed from being paralyzed. Immediately, we could relate. We didn't need any words but knew of what the other had seen. We embraced as brothers and were baptized moments later.
I have recently spoken to a pastor who had the same experience as he was praying with a group of Christians, asking God if He exists. And God came. I have heard of numerous supernatural encounters with God, but few like mine, all are unique in their own way.
One of my friends, one of the few friends I've stayed friends with since I was reborn. Shortly after my experience, he shot himself in the head. Before he did it he said a prayer for his family and friends. I arrived at his house after the incident, but the SWAT Team wouldn't let me enter, nor would they enter because there were reports of gunshots. They left him inside for several hours bleeding from his gunshot wound to the head before they broke in to find him as good as dead. The ambulance was called. Today, my friend, Neal, is alive and well. Well, he's blind but it's a miracle he's here. He said when he was in the hospital, he saw Jesus Christ walk in the door. He describes a brightness in His coming. He was wearing a white robe; not a word was spoken. Neal just knew as the Som of Man looked upon him. Today, Neal says, "I am blind, but I now I can see."
My point is, in all of this, is that when God speaks you know it's Him. The unbeliever can deny it all they want in their pride and arrogance. But God is real, and all you have to do is seek Him. Seek Him. Seek Him. And you will find Him. You may not have an experience such as these but you will, nonetheless, know it's God however He makes manifest.
Life is short. People come and go like dust in the wind. I was shown Darwin and Einstein in this vision, regarded by men as great intellectuals. But God told me their wisdom was foolishness to Him. The greatest human wisdom is foolishness to God, and without love you are nothing. Only perfect love, that is in Christ, lives forever and never fails, everything else passes away. At that moment, I had more wisdom and understanding than ever before because I knew that love surpasses knowledge and the only true wisdom is fear of the Lord.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments."
-- Psalm 111: 10
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."
-- Proverbs 9: 10
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing."
-- 1 Corinthians 13: 1 - 3
"For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
-- Ephesians 3: 14 - 19
I believe that passage (Ephesians 3: 14 - 19) summarizes my experience more than any other Scripture. Faith in Christ is all we need in this life. It's all that matters in the end. It is the most important decision we can make because His perfect love is all we need. As God has shown me, love surpasses all knowledge. I knew all in that moment because I knew Him and He is love. Without love and without God, which are one in the same, you are nothing. This love of God is so incredible and magnificent; there are no words for it. How can one use words from a world to describe a God outside the world?
This fullness of God's love is indescribable in this carnal and physical world. God made this world in three dimensions which does not fit His love; it cannot contain it. A fourth dimension is needed to convey this ineffable love of Christ found in this verse of Ephesians: width, length, depth and height.
"Yes," continued through my mind as the light was shinning on me. It was a divine, "Yes." I was assured that everything was okay and at peace. This was God's answer to my prayers and His answer to my questioning of His existence. God cannot lie and this is the answer to all His promises.
"For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us - by me, Silvanus, and Timothy - was not Yes and No, but in Him was Yes. For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us."
-- 2 Corinthians 1: 19 - 20
"Yes to existence," I remember passing through my mind several times during this experience. I see it like this. Sin is the absence of righteousness. Darkness is the absence of light. Death is the non-existence of life. Evil is the absence of goodness. God just is. He is. He is the something when taken away you have nothing; the positive prior to the negative. Goodness exists before evil can exist. Not the other way around. Life exists before one can die. If it weren't for God's goodness and righteousness, sin and evil couldn't have entered the world. The first must exist before the latter. You can't get something from nothing. Nothing comes from something taken away. This is why evolution doesn't logically work out because life cannot come from no life. Understanding this simple principle is understanding God. He just is. Before time and space, God is. God is. He is. He is existence. God is existence, which is good. Anything else, death, darkness, evil and hell are far away from God's existence. These cannot exist without the Creator. This is also why goodness, righteousness, truth, God overcomes evil. Because God is, was, and always will be. Before evil, there was goodness; God is. Before darkness, there was the light; God is. Before death there is life; God just is. Jesus said, "Before Abraham was, I am" (John 8: 58) He just is. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things are made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it (John 1: 1 - 5). When the Sadducees questioned Jesus about the resurrection, He said, "Are you not therefore mistaken, because you do not know the power of God? For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. But concerning the dead, that they rise, have you not read in the book of Moses, in the burning bush passage, how God spoke to him, saying, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living" (Mark 12: 24 - 27). God is the God of the living, that means you. Even if you deny God, God is still your Creator.
How can I explain being in the presence of an eternal God? I cannot. Like I said, I could've been in this vision for minutes or hours, I cannot say. The Scripture declares that one day with the Lord is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day (2 Peter 3: 8). God is eternal, He is all there is before and after this realm of time and space. Even though God is not seen, He is real and His existence can be proven to the scientific and rational thinker but the thinker must think, no doubt. The force of evil came into God's creation of time and space with the creation of mankind, the free thinker, the sinner. That is not to say that this was not God's plan or that there ever was any evil in God, but God allowed it and His goodness will overcome. There is a purpose in all of this. Good overcomes evil and the only way to overcome evil is with good (Romans 12: 21). We cannot deny that there is a purity in goodness and love that is absent in acts of violence and hatred. All the wisdom of men and great philosophers in the pursuit of meaning of life, truth, and the meaning of justice can be summed up in this, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind; love your neighbor as yourself." For this reason, Christ's act on Calvary is perhaps the most rational event in human history. It defines rationality, truth, love and justice because it was God Himself, the source of all wisdom and logical reason. It was the testimony of a life lived in perfect love for God, neighbors and enemies. It was God's testimony to the world of His true character. It was a testimony to the truth.
2 Timothy 3: 7 speaks about people always learning but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. This is especially true today with the internet and so many different doctrines and religions. There is a difference between knowledge and truth. There is so much knowledge out there but one Truth. Like I said, you can be the wisest man in knowledge of the world but without the truth that God is love you are nothing. Science and knowledge is always changing but God has always been and always will be the same Holy God. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13: 8).
God is love. This is the truth and it is more important than anything you could ever know. Jesus loves you right now more than anyone in your life has ever loved you. Not to give your life to Him is foolishness. That would be stupid to deny the person that loves you most. He died in your place for your sins. This is the most important decision you will ever make. Not to make a decision is to make a decision to deny Him. I pray that you will invite Him into your life and except this free gift of salvation. Do not deny the love God has for you by denying Him who created you and sent His only son to die for you.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."
--2 Corinthians 5: 17
Elliott Nesch died with Christ's sacrifice on the cross. I'm now a new man; a new creature in Christ. I don't even like to think about the wicked life I was leading. Romans 6: 21, "What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death."
I truly died and have been given a second chance and a second life. I have been reborn. Jesus said unless you're born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God (John 3: 3).
I have been given a purpose in Him and that is more important than anything in this world. I thank God for giving me new life and the knowledge of the Truth. I am blessed to have seen what I have seen. I am blessed to be a messenger of His Truth and I wouldn't give it back for anything. I pray that you will come to His Word and find it as well. It is the most important decision you will make. It is the truth.
The Bible speaks about the wages of sin which is death (Romans 6: 23). You may not be as rebellious as I was. You might even say that you hold moral principles but your death will be evidence of your sin and you can hide nothing from the face of God. Nothing good dwells in the flesh (Romans 7: 18). "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like" (Galatians 5: 19 - 21). Whoever sins is a slave to sin (John 8: 34).
I was a child of wrath (Ephesians 2: 3). I conducted myself in the desire of my flesh, fulfilling the desires of my lustful mind. I was born with the desire to do lots of drugs and sleep with lots of women. Like I said, my only fear was death but I was a slave to it, obedient unto death (Romans 6: 16 - 20). Again, I was content with the fact I was going to die on drugs, that I'd use them up to my death. My rebellion gave me a false sense of freedom. I thought I was free but every time I sinned, I was more powerless to stop and further and further away from God. I was walking death. I was dead and powerless in my sins (Ephesians 2: 1). Why I didn't die I know not, it is but the grace of God. "Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage" (Hebrews 2: 14 - 15).
As I said before and I stress again, what happened to me in this "death-to-life" experience cannot be put in words. The only word I can label it with is: 'miracle.' I was in the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit was being poured out upon me. When I go back to it, this verse comes to my mind from Acts:
"And it shall come to pass in the last days, says God, that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your young men shall see visions, Your old men shall dream dreams."
-- Acts 2: 17
Since then, I have had other revelations from God. Once I was praying for God's direction. He came to me that night in a dream. How do I know it was God? When God speaks, you know it's God, it's supernatural. The dream was nothing of my own thoughts or anything my mind could possibly imagine. In the dream, I was telling somebody about Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost began speaking through me. As the Spirit was speaking to me to this person, seeds began to fall from heaven. The seeds rapidly sprouted and turned into luscious greenery. Christ appeared in front of us on the cross and the plant life consumed Him and took Him up to heaven. God answered my prayer. He told me to plant seeds. The Bible tells us that the seed is the word of God.
Once when I was sharing my "death-to-life" experience with somebody who hadn't given His life to Jesus yet, he asked, "Why you? Why would God choose you to show you that?" At the time, I didn't know what to say. Why did God choose me? I often wondered myself. Why have I been blessed beyond words to be a messenger of God. I searched His Word and I believe I found the answer:
"For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence."
-- 1 Corinthians 1: 26 - 29
God has chosen me to humble and put to shame everyone that exalts themselves against His Truth. I was the lowest of lows. This might sound cliche but I truly should be dead. I thought I was invincible in my dark days and I was but only by the grace of God. God kept me alive because He had a purpose for me all along and that is to tell the world to turn from their wicked ways and come to the truth and knowledge of Jesus Christ. He was always there watching over me waiting for the right moment to show me the truth and love in Jesus.
Looking back confirms that even more. I remember the very first time I did meth was also one of the first times I was brought to a church, the first time since my childhood. Also, I remember when I started reading The Purpose Driven Life, about a week before my experience, I was spiritually attacked by demons. They paralyzed me but I didn't understand it at the time, I was scared and confused. I was beginning to see the spiritual world. It is reality. If you don't believe in demons, then they have you right where they want you. Just as I know for a fact God exists, I know demons exist; I have seen them. I had more experience with demons after I was reborn that gave me further understanding. I was being kept from the knowledge of the truth at that time and spiritually attacked. When I was on meth, I sometimes saw demonic manifestations on people's faces.
I know now God has always been watching me and He has a plan for me. It is also an unexplainable miracle that I never went to jail. I believe God's plans for me entail that I have a clean criminal record. After all my selling drugs my record is 100% clean. This can only be explained by a series of acts of God. I will explain some of them. Once, all my friends and I were being questioned by the police because we were minors with open containers of alcohol drinking in a public park. I told the police I was of age and continued drinking Vodka right in front of them and they didn't question me. One person I sold drugs to had a mom working in the Sheriff's Department and informed me my photo was on the wall in a meth ring. I can't tell how many times I was drunk driving and deserved DUI's like the time I got pulled over after taking ecstasy and drinking heavily with hundreds of pills of ecstasy in my car, illegal mushrooms, marijuana and two drunk females . . . or the time I backed into a car over ten times because I thought I was stuck in the snow and the police were called as I waited on the scene of the accident to have them show up and say they would not issue tickets in the bad weather or arrest me for that matter. Or when I admitted to being drunk at my high school and I was given a breathalyser and blew zero after drinking shots of Jim Beam and wine all morning. So they couldn't site me. Or when I got pulled over in a friend's car at 4:00 in the morning on a school night at seventeen years old. My friend was arrested for possession. I had on my persons, in addition to my friend, four separate bags of marijuana, methamphetamine, pipes, and two needles. They even had me roll up my sleeves to see that I had been shooting up. The police confiscated my drugs and took me home. I could go on and on of the years of stories like this and never arrested or ticketed. God had other plans for me.
Most people that knew me in my previous life look at me now and are completely confused . . . and they should be because I am not the same person. But all things are possible with God. I'd like to think He chose me to show His power because He knew my heart and knew that I will do my best to share His Word with everybody I come into contact with. But my wisdom is foolishness to God (1 Corinthians 3: 19). Only God could've made the impossible change in me and made me a new person.
"For when you were slaves to sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? But now having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God, you have your fruit of holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-- Romans 6: 20 - 23
I was a slave to my sins leading me to death. Death was my greatest fear yet I welcomed it every day and I couldn't imagine anything that would change my wicked ways. Only the blood of Jesus could set me free.
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God"
-- 1 Corinthians 1: 18
I used to think Christianity was foolishness as you might today because of dead religion, hypocrites and liars peddling the Word of God as a business. That doesn't mean it's not the truth and that's no excuse for not seeking the Lord because nothing will change the fact that you will stand before God when you die to give an account for your life. You have been warned and other people's false testimonies of Christ doesn't give you an excuse. Humanity will always be sinful, even Christians. Our sins nailed the Son of God to the cross. Faith in Jesus is the only way to be forgiven and be right in God's sight.
I never thought I would become a Christian. I hated religion and I still do because most religion is dead. Most religion is the false religion guilty of killing the prophets and Jesus Christ. Every religion but Christianity is based on works to get to heaven but I know that our works are filthy to our Holy Creator. Christianity declares one my get to heaven based on another's works, Jesus Christ. This is the fundamental difference in Christianity along with the incarnation of God in the flesh. I am a REAL CHRISTIAN. Anything else is a false religion. Pure religion and undefiled before God is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world (James 1: 27).
I used to say the Lord's name, Jesus Christ, in vain when I was angry. I would blaspheme God. I am a Christian today because it is the one and only truth. I don't belong to a particular church or denomination; I think that would be unbiblical (1 Corinthians 1: 10 - 17). I simply I love Jesus with all my heart.
I thank God every day for giving me life and giving me the knowledge of His truth; it is nothing I did on my own Everything that I have, I have because of God. I have nothing to boast about except God.
God loves you and I so much that he died for us sinners when He is perfect. Christ revealed Himself to me when I was more lost, wicked and undeserving than I'll ever be. That's LOVE!!
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him."
-- Romans 5: 8 - 9
And I still don't deserve this gift. It's by God's grace through my faith I am saved. It's a gift. It's a gift. It's a gift. I will always be a sinner but through Christ I feel sorrow for my sins and I repent to be more like Him because God is good. Through faith in Christ my sins are forgiven. Through Christ and the Commandments I see the punishment I deserve for my sins. But God, in His perfect love, sent His Son to die in my place. God has imputed righteousness to me when I am nothing of the sort. He has declared me righteous through faith in His Son Jesus. God didn't have to enlighten me to the Truth but He did. He didn't have to create me but He did. He didn't have to die for you and I but He did. My sins and your sins were contributive to the cup of God's wrath that was poured out upon Jesus Christ at Calvary. This was the only way God could remain perfectly just and perfect love to forgive sins, to become a man and fulfill His own Holy law and die as a sacrifice for sins, the just for the unjust, to bring us to God. Jesus, God in the flesh, lived a perfect life and was raised from the dead three days after He was placed in the tomb. He appeared to the apostles for forty days and ascended into heaven. He conquered sin and death. God is LOVE and God is GOOD all the time!!
How is it that I am now unafraid of death, my only haunting fear of my entire previous life? I'll tell you how. My Savior has conquered sin and death and He has promised me eternal life. Now, my only fear is the wrath of God. Fortunately, through the blood of Jesus Christ I have been saved from all of these, sin, death, and, most importantly, God's wrath!
Not everybody will have an experience like mine. I'm blessed. Does that mean you should not believe if you don't? Absolutely not. Have faith in Christ because I'm telling you the truth. But don't take my word for it; seek the Lord yourself. The Holy Bible is proof God exists. But you can find God all alone in a room by yourself without a Bible. But there is no truth outside of Christ. He is the only mediator between God and men and women.
"In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."
-- 1 John 4: 10
"But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe. For there is no difference: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus."
-- Romans 3: 21 - 26
"And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world."
-- 1 John 2: 2
You must have a personal relationship with Jesus because He is God and it is undeniable It doesn't matter how you live your life right now, you need to invite Jesus into it simply because He is the truth. If you don't, you will regret it. Trust me! I tell you the truth! But don't take my word for it. Seek the Lord; if you truly desire truth, you will find none besides Jesus Christ. When God speaks to you, you will know it's God. God has spoken to me and nobody can tell me otherwise.
Jesus loves YOU more than words can ever explain. No words can describe the love Jesus has for you. No artist could paint, no poet could put it in words because it is not of this world or anything we know. I have not even begun to scratch the surface of God's love. I have tried and failed to describe to you the love of God. I just pray that through this testimony you will seek God and He will enlighten you of His grace, mercy, love, truth, and holiness. If you reject His love and free gift of salvation, you will be making the greatest mistake of your life. He is love; He will change your life and give you eternal life. That's a promise and God cannot lie.
He wants to help you! Today is the day of salvation. Only the love and blood of Jesus Christ can set you free.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
-- John 3: 16